What is it about Christmas that makes people want to smash? From Mistletoe’s Pagan roots as the semen of the gods to the trailblazing bimbo anthem “Santa Baby,” there’s just something about all that glossy wrapping paper, roast ham, and St. Nick—the ultimate cuffing season big boi—sliding down your chimney that makes it extra fun to get kinky during the holidays. So when the lingerie brand Adore Me dropped its new line of holiday intimates, we put down the eggnog and picked up our Amex.
Photo Courtesy of Adore Me
There’s a lot to love about Adore Me’s festive intimates, from the plus size-inclusive product range (0X to 4X) to the accessible price points. No shade to La Perla, but we’d sooner get a lump of coal in our [redacted] than burn our bills on a thong when Adore Me’s jingle bell jawn is just as sexy, and up to 40% off.
Why not wrap yourself up in one of these silky sets, and assume the present position under the tree until your unsuspecting lover comes home?
Also on the naughty list: Crotchless panties, faux fur-lined intimates, and a bodysuit that pays homage to the “Jingle Bell Rock” Mean Girls scene that forever altered the atoms of the Year of our Lord 2004.
We’re out for all the serotonin we can get during the winter. Adore Me’s holiday drop understands this, and didn’t skimp on bows, frills, and all the best trappings for “Pull my sleigh, Rudolph” roleplay and other sexcapades.
There’s a reason (daddy issues!!) people make sex toys shaped like snowmen, or like to slip into something a little more festive than usual to Jack their Frost. A Santa-themed thong isn’t for everyone, but it is for people who 1) want to have fun, 2) want to have orgasms, and 3) aren’t afraid of dunking their cookies in some whole milk. Sexy kitsch holiday lingerie gives us the permission to lean into our kinkier alter ego, and can give our creative, horny juices the extra dose of encouragement that they need to try something new, all thanks to a Catholic holiday about frankincense and a guy with a man bun.
Happy holidays. Here’s wishing you a (not so) silent night.
Adore Me’s latest holiday lingerie collection can be purchased here.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals?Sign up for our newsletter.