How To Go on Benders Without Feeling Like Shit

Maybe it’s a good old-fashioned hangover or the emotional crash from the MDMA. Maybe it’s separation anxiety from your favorite people in the world, or just the lack of sleep and the fact that you haven’t had a proper meal in 48 hours. Maybe it’s the crippling reminder that you hate your everyday life. Or maybe it’s all of that rolled into one. Whatever it is, coming off a bender can be hard. 

What constitutes a bender depends on who you ask, but it generally involves at least a couple of days of debauchery assisted by alcohol or drugs, where little else matters but the pursuit of pleasure and vibes. Some define it as a period of time spent escaping life’s harsh realities. For others, it’s the unintended but inevitable result of spending time with friends for whom conversations flow as easily as beer on tap. Still others might make bending a habit, thinking that a weekend not spent getting wasted is indeed a weekend wasted.

Of course, excessive alcohol and drug use come with immediate and long-term health risks, and every bender can lead to potentially self-destructive outcomes. I know because I’ve had my fair share of benders—some I’m proud of, others not so. I may be coming off a bender as I’m writing this, but that’s neither here nor there. While I can’t say I remember exactly what happened between the sunrises and shots, I have learned a thing or two about how to make the best out of a bender without making the worst of myself. 

The sooner you accept that a bender is even remotely on the table, the better you can prepare for it and prevent any unnecessary problems. If you think those Friday night drinks will extend to Sunday afternoon, don’t schedule anything for Monday morning. If you think you’ll be in a hungover haze all the way to Wednesday, try to sneak in some advanced work the week before. This is an exercise in honesty and prudence—small prices to pay for big fun. 

Put some over-the-counter medications (ibuprofen, antacids, antihistamines), a set of spare keys, a trusty toothbrush, and whatever else you find yourself looking for during benders in a small bag you can keep in your car or carry with you. You’ll thank yourself later. 

Getting fucked up with a group of people can be overwhelming. I’ve found it extremely helpful to have a “bender buddy,” or someone who’s got your back and vice versa throughout the process. Sometimes a bender buddy is a mirror, someone who does everything you do so you’re always on the same page with at least that one person. They’ll down a drink when you do, stay up as long as the other does. Other times, a bender buddy is a voice of care and reason, looking out for and checking in on you (as you do for them). 

You’d think these two basic instincts for human survival would naturally kick in over the course of a bender, but they can be easy to overlook or straight-up ignore when you’re not sober. Try to pay attention and give your body at least a little of what it needs. A banana, a protein bar, a handful of nuts, and a glass or two of water go a long way.

If you’re hosting a bender, plan to have food that’s easy to eat and that won’t spoil easily, so you can leave it out on a table for people to munch on whenever they want. Some people also put oral rehydration salts in their water bottles in hopes of preventing dehydration. At the very, very least, have a meal before the bender begins, and down some water when the bender ends. 

Sometimes, somewhere down the line, benders can make bendees feel superhuman. Alcohol tastes like water, there are no limits, nothing can stop you, and anything is possible. That’s when benders can be the most fun, but that’s also when they can be the most dangerous. When you catch yourself feeling like you can do anything, remember that one of those things is to calm down. Know and respect your limits on everything from alcohol and drugs to jokes and banter. Maybe wait a couple of minutes before drinking your next drink. The surest and fastest way to crash is to keep pushing the high. 

When you finally cap the night at 11 in the morning two days later, it’s only natural to sleep through the rest of the day and gloriously mess up your circadian rhythm for weeks to come. Don’t get me wrong, you should get that immediate rest and recovery—but try and get back on track with your regular sleeping schedule as soon as possible. This might mean setting multiple alarms for your first day back to “the real world,” powering through a sleepy morning, and resisting the urge to nap the entire day, but that’s often better than staring at your ceiling all night. 

The thought of working out after getting shit-faced is only horrible until you experience how good it feels to work out after getting shit-faced. It doesn’t have to be (or likely shouldn’t be) a killer workout. A simple stretch just to get some movement going and sweat dripping is enough to at least feel like you’re helping your body get rid of whatever substances you forced into it. If you can spend a few nights downing drinks and other things, you can spend a few seconds in downward dog. 

Uppers like cocaine and MDMA can leave people feeling tense and jittery, so some take muscle and nerve relaxants like magnesium to help them calm down. Cocaine, MDMA, and alcohol also affect the brain by flooding it with dopamine. To help keep their brains as healthy as possible, some people take supplements like lion’s mane mushroom, which is said to improve cognition and modulate neurotransmitters. But just because they’re legal doesn’t mean they’re right for you. As with illegal drugs, you may find that some work better for you than others. It’s just a matter of finding out which ones.

The best benders are communal and connected experiences, and part of what makes recovering from benders so difficult is that it tends to happen in solitude. If your bender is happening over an out-of-town trip with friends, plan to stay an extra day after the festivities, dedicated to recovering by cozying up and watching some lighthearted movies. If you all have to be away from each other immediately after the bender, send a few messages to check in on everyone. Hopefully, you’re all doing well. If not, at least nobody will be alone. 

VICE neither endorses nor encourages consumption of narcotics/psychotropic substances.

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