Our top tier interests include thinking about Willem Dafoe’s penis, high-tech vibrators, and The Sims, so it was only natural that we would fall bum-over-noggin for the latest customizable sex toy experience from Fleshlight. The sexual wellness brand has become so iconic since its founding in Austin, Texas in 1995 that the name alone has become shorthand for all class-act male masturbators. As far as strokers go, Fleshlight’s are some of the easiest-to-clean male sex toys with designs ranging from what we like to call futuristic icy tube to the more classic, anatomically correct-ish toys such as the Stamina Training Unit, which has earned a 4-star average rating from over 1,800 reviews on Amazon. In the words of one customer, “I am absolutely hooked now. I will probably never use my hand again after today”; another fan writes that “[IT’S] THE BEST MASTUBATOR IN THE WORLD HANDS DOWN. AND YOU'LL LAST MUCH LONGER IN THE SACK.” Yeehaw.
There are clearly Fleshlights for every aesthetic, but did you know that you can also design your own? It won’t be a homemade Fleshlight per se, but you can design one from the ground up right from the comfort of your home. There’s an entire DIY section on the brand’s site that is dedicated to guiding you through the process of building a custom stroker. First, you select your color and your orifice, the latter of which rolls out two tantalizing options, “lady” or “butt.” Next, you get to have some real fun with the internal texture options; good luck trying to pick just one of the intricate, penis-tickling textures dubbed Original, Destroya, Heavenly, and Mini Lotus:
Photo courtesy of Fleshlight
You’re also given the option of topping off your order with some handy Fleshlight accessories, including drying machines, shower mounts, sleeve warmers, and more at the checkout line, where you get one final peep at your creation. Behold, my electric blue lady Destroya:
I haven’t felt such a powerful sense of satisfaction and pride since the days of my Giga Pet (RIP). Will I be taking my Build-A-Bear stroker on Tinder dates? Absolutely. Will I use it as a spyglass once the salvia hits? You bet. The sky's the limit for this $69 Destroya, because it strokes your pride and your [redacted].
Build your own Fleshlight here.
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