Dame’s Wand Vibrator Is Like a Spa Day for Your Clit (and Your Back)

I’ve never been a wand person when it comes to sex toys. Which isn’t to say I’ve been anti-wand, but as someone who only started using vibrators in the past few years, I’ve been more drawn to the influx of cutting-edge clitoral suction toys, or to arabesque glass dildos that could’ve been blown by Dale Chihuly. In fleshing out my dream sex toy pantry, I only want to invest—because, yes, quality sex toys can be pricey—in toys that get me off orgasmically and aesthetically. Is that so much to ask? 

Consider the Hitachi Magic Wand. It’s the OG wand vibrator, a 14-inch legend that has been pounding out the kinks in your auntie’s back (and beyond) since the 1970s. The Hitachi and other wands of its ilk were such key players in empowering the sexuality of women and people with clitorises back in the day because they could be purchased under the pretext of being a humble neck massager, all the while moonlighting as a clitoral toy. 

Now, as much as I applaud the Magic Wand—nothing but respect for my president!—it also looks like something I would find in an ER, or dangling from its cord in a dentist’s office. That’s why I was so intrigued when Dame—a rad sexual wellness company that made headlines recently when it won the fight to advertise in New York City subways—released its first wand vibrator. Dame is women-founded, its toys are engineered with input from real users at Dame Labs, and it was one of the first sex toy companies to seriously increase quality standards. (The two founders are literally an engineer and a sexologist, so if anyone could give the classic wand vibrator archetype a zhuzh for 2022, it was them.) Thus, “Com” was born washed ashore from Aphrodite’s sea froth on a horny clam shell: 

“We took our time gathering feedback from our community of testers that provide in-depth, people-centered research,” said Alexandra Fine, Dame’s CEO, co-founder, and resident sexologist, about what sets Com apart from other wands. “[We wanted] to create a new kind of wand that offers maximum comfort, Dame’s most powerful motor to date, and whisper-quiet vibrations.” It’s also one of the only wands on the market, according to Fine, that’s made out of medical-grade silicone. Com is rechargeable, water-safe, and has five vibration intensities—enough to provide great massage variation without feeling overwhelming. 

“We learned that many of our users found traditional wands to be intimidating, scary, and overpowered,” says Fine. “It felt like most wands were designed for power-lovers only, and few were created with the pleasure of comfort in mind.” 

She’s not wrong. Have you ever seen a classic wand? They’re you-shall-not-pass large, and anoint-your-lover-like-a-knight long. Com is large, but not overwhelmingly so at 10.5 inches. It also has a svelte shape and promised to be so lightweight and easy to use that I could maneuver it with one hand. (Plus, you can take 10% off your total order with code DAME10 right now.) So, I rolled up my sleeves and gave it an honest test run to see if it would live up to the hype.

I dig that this wand has an enigmatic, single-syllable name—as is the case for all of Dame’s sex toys. (Suction vibe seekers, have you met Aer?). In that way, it feels less gendered, which is rare, given that a lot of sex toy company messaging still feels like watching an As Seen on TV informercial. (No shade to ASoTV; we OxiClean in this house.) Think: cringey product names such as “battery-operated boyfriend,” or brand names including “Womanizer.” (Great products, terrible names.) 

Com—my beautiful little alien—is impressively light and easy to hold with its slight curves, and it was easy to reach back and massage my neck, for starters. Its mushroom cap tip was large enough to target my kinks without feeling heavy.

The vibe also comes in two colorways: a shade of quartz for us Crystal Folk, and a light purple that feels less like Barney and more like the fleeting periwinkle on the edge of a sunset. (Again, this is what I mean when I say it’s important to have chemistry with your sex toys.) Dame gives the people what they want—which is beautifully colored orgasms.

What exactly do you do with a wand vibrator? Well, that’s a bit like asking someone what they do with their Maldon salt. Put it on your cookie. Put it in your soup. Do you.  

I played with the power settings, and found that the second intensity was my speed. The motor was hella quiet, and as someone with a lot of Virgo placements, I liked how it sits perfectly upon the pelvis—like a 1920s jazz singer reclining on a chaise lounge. It’s also pretty easy to ride, although it gets a smidgen louder in that position; its motor resounds a bit more, albeit in a deep, chill way, like tectonic plates. (Don’t worry, it’s still quiet enough that your roommate won’t hear it.)    

Now, I have little, brittle bird wrists. I’m one of those useless unfortunate people who can’t open jars. So, when I went for the moment of truth test by holding Com with one hand, I was impressed; the vibe stayed the course, and remained in position until climax. Out of curiosity, I amped it up to its highest vibration setting, which was still easy to hold, even as I relaxed my hand. Plus, unlike other powerful vibes, it didn’t bazooka itself out of my very light grip. While level five was too strong for my clitoris, I realized it would be perfect for the gnarled tree roots that have come to make up my goblin-like spine. Genius. Now, I don’t play favorites, but I kind of wish all my vibrators had this kind of versatility. It felt like discovering Swiss Army knives, inflatable rafts, or sporks. 

Com is a great beginner’s sex toy as a non-penetrative, ergonomic, and versatile vibe that’s also easy to maneuver. It’s perfect for anyone who wants targeted, direct clitoral stimulation that isn’t a suction toy, and it’s ideal for people who may have a more limited range of motion and grip. Sometimes, the intensity of suction vibes can be too much on the clitoris, but Com sweeps over the entire area to give you a deeper, more resounding orgasm. Am I surprised that Dame came up with a gorgeous new take on the traditional wand vibe? No. Do I thank the heavens that brands are finally rethinking classic sex toys in such exciting ways? [Points to wicker man.] Yes—and consider me a convert. 

Com can be purchased at Dame.

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