Do you ever think (as you’re lathering up): Sure, this soap is getting me clean, but could it be doing more? Am I reaching full babe-attracting potential with this bar of Irish Spring? Well, some news: You could be turning your morning routine up to 1,000 by washing with pheromone-infused soap, my guy. What’s that? You didn’t know you could increase the power of the body’s natural chemical aphrodisiac just by washing your cojones with some handmade soap? Yep, it’s really that easy—at least, according to Grondyke.
Grondyke makes all-natural, pheromone-infused soaps (aka “Tactical Soaps”) with the aim of leveraging these natural, supposedly behavior-altering chemicals to help dudes attract the opposite sex.
To get the blend of scent and science just right, Grondyke “partnered with a clinical psychologist and pheromone expert to create formulas that are targeted at specific traits that are most attractive to the opposite sex.” Tactical Soap—as Grondyke Soap Company refers to its bars—are named for iconic masculine men from pop culture, boasting names like Durden, Maverick, and Bond. Each soap, according to the brand, is, “infused with proprietary bio-identical pheromone formulas.” Even if you’re skeptical of the effectiveness of pheromones, we can appreciate that soaps also feature good-for-your-skin ingredients including: coconut and palm oils, shea butter, lime oil (a natural antioxidant), gingergrass oil (which can clear up acne and is a natural bug-repellent), and turmeric (which is known to brighten skin and lighten dark spots).
While we can already hear your eyes rolling into the back of your head, there are scientific studies that explore this pheromone phenomenon, albeit in controlled contexts. A VICE editor even tried a pheromone-infused oil earlier this year (albeit to mixed results). Long story short: There may be something to the pheromones' “sweet science,” but we should note that nothing is entirely conclusive. That said, who is going to turn down a chance to (theoretically) up their game in attracting beautiful people? Not us.
If you’re not sure whether you’re more of a shirtless Brad Pitt or a modern-day Sean Connery, you can always make your selection based on the way you buy regular-ass body wash: by eyeing the bouquet of scents and just picking whichever one smells best to you. Durden is scented with cedarwood, Maverick smells like an ocean breeze, and Bond has a classic musk scent (of course) with added charcoal to unclog pores and clean deep. For the acutely indecisive, you can also get the three-pack for under $30. Not to mention, bar soap lasts way longer, and is better for the environment than body wash in plastic containers.
If none of those scents are rocking your world, Grondyke Soap Company also crafted a sequel series(not to mention a trilogy series, if you thought we weren’t serious about these soaps’ connection to pop culture) which offers up new takes on the brand’s original three pheromone-laden soaps. With masculine scents— like “Sandalwood Bourbon”, “Fresh Timber”, and citrus—or herbal options—including lavender, peppermint tea tree, and eucalyptus mint—there’s plenty of ways to try Grondyke’s take on classic bar soap, even if you’re buying in just to… you know, smell good.
Honestly, even if the pheromones don’t have you flooded with requests for your phone number, you’ll still smell fucking fantastic, and have better skin—it’s a win/win, baby. Listen, Grondyke Soap Company will tell you, “only 10% of the male population secretes an abundant amount of pheromones,” which (using the brand’s logic, anyways) means there’s “100% of women are looking for 10% of men.” Do with that what you will.
What can we say, that math’s mathin’. While we’re definitely not ensuring this soap will lead you to regularly getting laid, we can confirm that if you want to attract a partner, showering regularly is a great first step. ”
Happy babe hunting, brochachos.
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