Clamps rule. Dominatrixes know this, large stacks of FBI documents know this, and, most of all, carpenters know this—and given that this is the time of year when my fellow biological Christian females are asking, “What would Jesus, the most-esteemed of carpenters, do?”, the righteous answer is titillatingly clear: Cop the world’s first app-controlled vibrating nipple clamps from Lovense, and ascend to Level XIV of foreplay heaven.
Never clamped your nips, or the nips of someone you love? Welcome. Rubbing or stimulating your nips can help arouse the body, and release oxytocin, which is like ketamine (but without the scaries). There are clamps and suction toys for all levels of kinkster out there, from the person who wants nothing more than a tingly twist during foreplay to BDSM dragon slayers who want to feel like they’re getting clamped for m’lord’s wagon pull. Luckily for every clamper, Lovense has just dropped the world’s first-ever pair of app-controlled, vibrating nipple clamps called the Gemini, and this titillating toy is 50% off (or, a mere $69 horny clams).
Gemini is a game-changer for the clamping community, because it’s programmable with the Lovense app, which means you can tease your partner by controlling its vibrational settings from anywhere in the world, whether you’re in the kitchen or the Galapagos islands; manually or by voice command (think, “Alexa, blast Terry’s nips to space”). Just adjust the tightness of the clamps through the screws, and explore a combination of three vibrational speeds and 10 patterns by land (your bed) or by sea (Gemini is fully waterproof).
You can wear Gemini as a necklace, or wear it incognito under your bra while you eat grilled cheese at the Nordstrom cafe; you can wear it while you dry hump Lovense’s other app-controlled couple’s sex toys, or while your partner ties you down to the bed with some silky restraints. The world is your pearly, teat-titillating oyster.
Here’s to tootin’ on the hooters this holiday season.
Gemini can be purchased at Lovense.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.