You know what we don’t have the budget for these days? Anything other than our own fingers up our own holes. Which is kind of a lie [pumps Aesop soap], but it is hard to part with money from the “Let’s Feel Something” budget (cheese, poppers, breathable undies; booze, linen sheets, more poppers) for vibrators that can cost hundreds of dollars. That’s one piece of cheese you don’t get to taste-test before you buy it, jabroni. How do you know if you’re actually getting a whisper-quiet vibrator? Who told you to spring for USB-rechargeable sex toys? (I mean, we did. But I digress.)
The point is, we’ve tried loads of load-busters. We know which vibrators we’d take to the grave, and which ones are best to bring into the rotation when you’ve eaten at the saaaaame restaurant every night of the week. We know which sex toys are worth the hype, which ones we’re dying to try (link in bio to the Lelo clitoral vibrator that looks like Gonzo’s nose), and which luxury vibrators we’ll finally be ordering (sup, Billy 2) during Amazon’s Prime Early Access Sale. The Prime Day-esque event is being held right now, from October 11-12, and is kind of like the autumnal answer to Amazon’s 48-hour mega sale. There are piping hot deals on Fire TVs, AirPods, and, you guessed it, the best sex toys your sweet coins can buy on both Amazon and other sexual wellness sites.
The best sex toys on Amazon run the gamut, from classic first time vibrators and dildos to elaborate fuck machines. There’s also an enticing smattering of sexual wellness deals from Lovehoney, LELO, Babeland, Womanizer, and others, which means you can go home with a dragon’s hoard of glow-in-the-dark vibrators and other things that go bump in the night. Whether you’re shopping the Prime Early Access sale or looking to browse for deals elsewhere, we’ve scoped out the absolute best savings from the retail behemoth, and all the other retailers our wallets call daddi home.
You know what they say: Happy pubes, happy plebes!
Amazon is offering savings on all kinds of sex toys, including massage wands, dildos, and vibrators from best-selling brands such as Satsifyer and Womanizer for Prime Day.
Babeland’s Prime Sale has major discounts on a big selection of sex toys, and you can find us in the checkout line with cock rings, a Funfetti-esque dildo, and other great sex toys for humping and grinding.
LELO is offering up to 50% off sitewide for its Fall Prime Day sale (no code needed) from October 11-12, so it’s the perfect time to try its gorgeous luxury toys. In the words of VICE contributor Angel Kilmister, the Enigma G-Spot and clitoral vibrator is so banging, it’s “like if technologically advanced aliens designed a sex toy.”
The Sona 2 Cruise clitoral suction vibrator is another best-seller from the brand with a whopping 12 vibrational patterns, and the kind of ergonomic shape that looks like it’s howling at the moon (hot).
Curious about prostate orgasms? LELO’s elegant Hugo vibrator is velveteen silicone treat for your backdoor activities, and it even includes a remote control for kinky partner or solo play.
Lioness is knocking $20 off its namesake smart rabbit vibrator, which is the first sex toy is the first of its kind to use biofeedback to graph out your spank sesh on your iPhone, so you can learn more about your turn-ons (and turn-offs), find patterns in your orgasms, and track your horny-ness over time. It blew my mind when I tried it, and it’s been one of my top drawer vibrators ever since—and the 2.0 edition promises to be the most advanced yet.
Lovehoney is offering 50% off right now in its sale section, where you can scoop everything from lingerie to sex toy bundles and sexy Halloween costumes for spooky season and beyond.
PinkCherry is offering up to 80% off for its Fall Frenzy Sale with the code FALL at check-out. savings on some of our all-time faves such as the Satisfyer Pro 2, and newer icons to the sex toy game as well. [TikTok-famous rose vibrator has entered the chat.]
Womanizer is also offering deals on some of its individual best-selling vibrators as well as sex toy bundles where you can save hundreds of your hard-earned clams.
See you in the sex furniture aisle.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.