OK, let’s just be honest: Nobody likes going to the dentist. Still, visits are usually pretty chill, often resulting in some banal advice to keep brushing and flossing every day (unless you’ve been mainlining Milk Duds and Dr. Pepper for three years, in which case the dentist will take their revenge).
If you are one of the many who just refuses to heed warnings that you need to floss more—perhaps it’s our ears that need flossing, am I right?—I stand alongside you, extremely aware that there are few things on this beautiful planet that could move most of us to actually floss every day. Taking a weird, waxy, pseudo-minty string from a plastic box and rubbing it between your teeth and on your gums? Pardon my French, but that sounds goddamn ridiculous. It’s the 21st century, people. We shouldn’t even need teeth at this point.
If only there were a tolerable, ~aesthetic~ way to floss those lil’ chompers without the burden of actually buying floss! FWIW, in my experience, water flossers are awesome. As far as this writer is concerned, once I got used to mine, I actually started looking forward to using it, because it makes me feel like I’m receiving some kind of forbidden, dentist-office-only tooth cleaning at home. Plus, it’s just practical. Can’t get that annoying popcorn kernel or piece of stringy meat out from between your teeth? Shoot some MF water at it, bro!
Enter Quip, an oral health company launched in 2015 and riding out here to say, “Hey, fellow kids! Water flossers are great!” But it’s not just design—Quip has in-house dentists making sure the gear is good (much of it is ADA [American Dental Association for those not in-the-know]-accepted). And, for what it’s worth, we think the brand’s stuff also just looks neat, like it came out of Blade Runner 2049. (TBH, we’ll probably still have to floss in the future, SMH).
Quip’s Rechargeable Cordless Water Flosser has a 360-degree rotating tip, meaning you can get all those weird angles, and its multiple pressure and flow settings ensure that you aren’t blasting your gums to hell before they’re ready. The battery can keep a charge up to two months, which is wild, and the water reservoir lasts about a minute, which isn’t bad. I mean, what would you rather do: Pour a little water after a minute, or stretch out another length of wax before sticking your entire hand in your mouth again? Easy choice, IMO.
The flosser is usually $75, but (thanks to the holidays) it’s on sale right now for $65, so go forth and clean those teeth. And if you’re thinking Hell yeah, LFG, what else can I get?, just spend slightly more on a set that includes an electric toothbrush.
Do we support this yassification of the dental hygiene tools formerly known as Waterpiks? FWIW, you’ve got to floss—and the brand has seemingly done the impossible, which is to make that seem… appealing? Fun? Kinda sexy? Available in rose gold, at least.
Enjoy your life. Watch Blade Runner 2049 and eat Milk Duds. Use a water flosser. Repeat. (This specific routine is not ADA-approved.) Happy flossing.
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