Recently, a dude quit his job by hiring William Hung to do it for him. “Christopher is going to put in the notice to leave his current job for a new job in two weeks,” the former American Idol contestant explained in a pre-recorded Cameo video shared in the company’s Slack. “Don’t give up creating the life you want. Here is a song for you…”
The video was great—Hung’s mini ballad, even better—and the story swiftly went viral. Most importantly, it begged the question: What other big life announcements could we offload onto random celebrities through Cameo commissions? As perpetually lazy (and hot) trolls, we would prefer to have Gary Busey tell our parents that we’re bisexual, and we’d love to task Lindsay Lohan with singing "Happy Birthday" to our faraway bestie.
All of this, and more, is possible on Cameo. If you’re new to the service, it’s an online platform that connects us humble plebes with a range of celebrities ranging in clout—the brand has everyone from cultural treasures such as Fran Drescher to someone named Lili VonSchtupp Boobdini, who will all create personalized video messages for your use. There are thousands of actors, influencers, sports figures, soap opera stars, and other randos worth checking out, and some of the celebs—*COUGH* Mark McGrath *COUGH*—even offer live video greetings. We know, we know. It feels a little too much like the tipping point in the simulation. But we loved The Matrix, so we’re leaning right in.
We’ve created our dream list of the best Cameo celebrities for every purpose, from proposing to your partner to sending the obligatory, random high school graduate in your life a “Congrats, grad!” video (it’ll sound better in Flavor Flav’s voice). Granted, one person’s dream Cameo celebrity might be the polar opposite of our own, and while we’d totally hire this Boba Fett actor for romantic purposes, we also understand that you might prefer to have him explain to your partner why you’re getting audited by the IRS. Know your needs, baby, and don’t be afraid to mix it up, take inspiration from across the Cameoverse, and leave the heavy lifting to the Beautiful People.
The best Cameos for quitting your job
William Hung has already proven his chops on this one, and he has a five-star rating on the site from over 2,000 reviewers. “I can give advice, say hi to someone, or just make you laugh. I want to help you and your loved ones live a bold and confident life,” he writes.
Heyy buuddddy. We can already hear Pauly Shore breaking up with our shitty boss for us with his signature, deep-fried persona. “Pauly did not disappoint and is so authentic,” writes one reviewer. “BEYOND WORDS.”
Get crazy, get wild. Finding a way to say, “Bye, [redacted] I never liked any of youz” is a job best left to one of the Italian stallions of Jersey Shore, such as Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino. He’s also had some amazing/heinous one-liners on the show, so you have your pick of inspirational quotes to draw from.
The best Cameos for Father’s Day
Yup. Daddy’s Day is already approaching (June 19) so you best order that bouquet of salami. Otherwise, you can send him—or the daddy-esque figure in your life—a Cameo greeting from the likes of Tommy Chong. ‘Tis perfect for the stoner papa.
On the other end of the boomer Cameo spectrum is Chuck Norris, who hasn’t aged a day—just like your old man!—and who has a five-star rating on the site. “What can I say, Chuck’s vid will go down in the family folklore for generations,” writes one reviewer. “[He] is the gold standard. They should peg the dollar to random numbers he thinks of.”
Finally! A groovy lad who’s perfect for dad, a.k.a. George Clinton of the iconic Parliament Funkadelic collective, and in the words of The Guardian, the “best-dressed man in music.” The P-Funk lord has a five-star rating on the site, and immaculate vibes. Here’s hoping he sends his video straight from the hot tub again.
The best Cameos for a birthday
Did you know that if you commission Gary Busey for a happy birthday Cameo, there will be a rip in the spacetime fabric? Do it anyway.
Look, the Tiger King universe is awful. Like, truly rancid vibes. But it brought us all together during the 2020 lockdowns, and gave us a newfound appreciation for the hustle of Carole Baskin and her leash collection. Happy birthday to you.
The queen, and definitely one of the best, top-tier Cameo options on the platform. We can neither confirm nor deny that Lindsay Lohan will bust out the iconic Mykonos hair flip—but we can dream.
The best Cameo for romancing someone
Have you been meaning to ask someone special out on a date? Do you want to propose, or just announce your engagement to everyone without having to call them all up individually? Let the smooth sounds of the world's most iconic saxophonist, Kenny G, do the trick. Our man has a five-star rating on the platform, is a master of romance, and will even create a Cameo in another language (for a price).
The lead singer of the iconic Y2K band Sugar Ray, Mark McGrath, and his frosted tips, are a national treasure. Your boo will melt upon hearing him turn the lyrics of the band’s hit song “Fly” into a limerick.
Yes. Immediately, yes. For whatever romantic question or message you chose to commission, let the stylings of Shaggy 2 Dope from Insane Clown Posse do the trick. He has a five-star rating on the site, and reviews praising everything from his personability to his candor. “10/10 easy!!!” writes one fan. “Crazy fast and EXACTLY what the doctor ordered.”
The best Cameo for breaking up with someone
OK, here’s the deal. Just pick any Real Housewife. Dorinda would be great, and so would The Countess, LuAnn de Lesseps. But the best of all would be Teresa Giudice, who has had more than her fair share of delivering/handling bad news like a champ on The Real Housewives of New Jersey.
Alternatively, you could just let your soon-to-be ex get lost in the eyes of Ramona Singer. They may never recover, which is the point.
Also, Spencer Pratt. Can’t explain it—but we think he’ll bring out the crystals to deliver the bad news to your shitty boo.
The best Cameos for the recent grad
Everyone has an obligatory, graduating student in their life at some point or another, whether it’s from high school, college, or the mime academy—and everyone has to get that grad a great gift. This is a time of pride, aspiration, and joy, so show your love by commissioning an enthusiastic Cameo from Flavor Flav. “[He has a ] super positive energy that’s undeniable,” writes one reviewer. “Type of guy that if he lost one leg, he’d say, ‘Well, at least I have another.’”
It doesn’t matter if you’re a boomer or millenial graduate. Carrot Top is an icon, continual figure in our lucid dreams, and the perfect person to usher your scholar into the next stage of their life.
Now that’s what I call a nightmare blunt rotation.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.